Knitting Friday 16/5/14

2014 has been progressively more and more full of horribility. It’s becoming harder to find things I can poke fun at. But hey, there’s always the BBC. And Google.

So, what’s been happening through the square window this week?

Well Google has been ordered by some European people to ‘forget’ some stuff. On the one hand it’s encouraging that not all big data can come back and bite one on the arse, but on the other hand, who’s been asking? Well for this latest ruling we have to thank a politician and a paedophile. Both want their dirty deeds removing. Well that’s just great; both unlikely quarters for doing the public a service, if it counts as that. I’d settle for that nasty picture of me being removed that looks like Miss Piggy on ‘roids.


In other news, the sun’s come out. What does that mean for Knitting Friday? Well it means that the BBC has to find a negative spin on it. Hmm, global warming is now pretty much debunked, what else can be done? Well there’s that walkie talkie building which last year was castigated for melting people’s sports cars. It’s still doing it, so they’ve decided to give it a sunshade. Not really newsworthy, but I’m trying to distract you from the horrors of Syria.


An American has apparently peed off the world’s luckiest man. This is the chap who escaped several transport related mishaps including buses, planes and cars, lived to tell the tale and then won the lottery. The American chap has annoyed him by getting the moustache wrong and the accidents mixed up. Mr American is keen to redress the balance, but reading between the lines, perhaps lucky boy just wants to see some of the wonga. And fair enough.

And there we have it. World premiere of ‘octotache’. Oh yes.


This week the award for the shortest news story goes to the one about the cat that saved the boy from being attacked by a dog. Yep, that’s the long and short of it.

Do kids learn to read any more? Because that sounds a bit like a b-rated episode from the Village with Three Corners starring Roger Red-Hat and Jennifer Yellow-Hat et al. I can just see it now:

Rip is Roger’s dog(that’s a direct quote from 30 years ago, people).

Look out Billy Blue-Hat, Rip has rabies. (OK, I made that up).

‘Help, Help!’ shouts Billy.

Jennifer Yellow-Hat cannot hear Billy. Jennifer is playing on her iPad and cannot concentrate on two things at once.

What’s this?

Look! Billy’s cat has been practising ninja warcraft.

Well done, Mog! Mog has killed Rip using only a shoe and a paper clip.

Die, Rip!

Oh look, Rip is dead.


Roger dog Billy





And the prize for the most identity-confused greyhound goes to:


You’re mean, people. Real mean.

Have a good weekend.

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