Knitting Friday 30/5/14

Welcome to the Penny Memorial Edition of Knitting Friday.

Yep, she’s gone. We will grieve for a long time, but will also comfort ourselves with the thought of her swanning about in her perfect house, in the countryside, with bluebirds probably helping her do the dishes.

Unfortunately this one looks like it’s suffered a fatal abdominal wound. Sorry, Penny, you’ll have to just get a dishwasher like normal people.

Lots of non-news this week, you’ll be pleased to hear. Amongst all the international strife and crappity, there are a few inevitable little gems to savour.

The world is getting fatter. Who hadn’t worked that one out yet? Yep, we’re getting fatter. I suspect that it’s because nothing’s anyone’s fault any more, but maybe that’s just me turning into my gran. The cheek is that the media is now lambasting the heavy people, after years of saying it was the government’s fault. Hardly fair.

What’s REALLY unfair is that one of them led on the front page with ‘British girls the fattest in Europe’ under a picture of the queen who is reported as having been somewhere in a hat. Nice one, sub-editors. You must be proud. There’ll be a few people walking past thinking ‘Well, if SHE’S overweight…’ Leave the old lady alone, people.

Too late, she’s been knitted now.

In Peterborough, workers at the hospital are being trained to interact with obese patients by wearing a ‘fat suit’. Right. Quite surprised that it’s still ok for the BBC to use the word ‘fat’. That’s probably the most newsworthy part of the story. Unfortunately there are no pictures to show what the fat suit looks like.

I’ve added my own:

The BBC’s just come up with another shocker as well – dementia sufferers ‘don’t feel any different’. That might be something to do with their not having the magical powers to shapeshift into another species, or have a penchant for going to illegal raves and popping little white things. Could it be they’re actually normal people? Well that’s a conversation killer right there.

What do you get if you search ‘knitted dementia’? This:

Knitted green things that look a little bit like piles…


Daft question of the week award goes to ‘Can the tobacco industry shed its ‘toxic brand’?’ Er, really?

Yeah, maybe start selling melons or something. That’d work.

Nadine Dorries has challenged David Cameron to knowing the price of milk. The BBC asks ‘is it important?’ I’d say yes, if you need milk and you’ve lost your wallet so you’re stuck with the change down the back of the sofa. Who hasn’t been there? So does Dave know what the price of milk is? I’m sure he’s been briefed by one of his SPADs by now.

And in other news, Kate and Wills drink some whiskey. Wow. Is anyone else underwhelmed by that?

Incidentally, in the Fox household, Seón has nailed the ‘sit’. It’s widely known that greyhounds ‘don’t do sit’. Well Seón is a secret sitter and often does it when he’s deciding what to do next, or when he thinks we can’t see. He now sits before anything good happens, like food. Or walks. Next is ‘lie down’. That shouldn’t be too hard for a greyhound. And after that a little manoevre called ‘doing the dishes’. Penny might have all the bluebirds, but I’ve got man’s best friend.

Moving swiftly onto second best greyhound of the week.

Prize goes to:

‘I look stupid, don’t I?’

‘Yes, yes you do.’

Have a good weekend!

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